Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund (AGRBF)

Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund® is an investment vehicle for those who seek guaranteed returns with no risk. Every quarter Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund delivers a percentage of an investor’s initial investment over a predetermined period (generally 25 years) until that contribution has been depleted. At that time, and at the option of the investor, a reinvestment may be made. In this way, every investor in the fund knows exactly how much will be distributed to her on a periodic basis. 

Other resources for investing are provided in the sidebar.

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Year after year, the Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund has performed with 100 percent reliability. Every payment to every investor has been made as allocated and made on time. Due to its unique position to make use of continuing contributions by new and returning investors, Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund has not only outperformed every other fixed-income investment vehicle but has shown significant growth as well. This has placed it atop all other funds in its fund sector.

Because of today’s market volatilities, more and more people and institutions are drawn to investments that offer reliable returns that they can count on receiving over a known duration. Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund not only promises a guaranteed income stream for as long as contributions are received from new and returning investors, it foresees the maximization   of those payouts

No other bond fund makes the same guarantee to return most of its investors’ allocations over such an extended time period. Even with 
payout rates sometimes running in excess of twice the fund’s capital holdings, the fund has, nevertheless, never missed a payment to an investor. Consequently the Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund is one of the most reliable investments available. 

There is no fee to open an Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund account. A modest management fee of only three percent is charged at each payment distribution and is  guaranteed throughout the term of the distribution payment schedule. Other fees may apply as  determined by the Avarice Fund Advisory Board and as required by governmental regulation.

At the request of the Securities and Exchange Commission, the Avarice Guaranteed Return Bond Fund is currently closed to new clients. However, other funds offered by Avarice Funds are open to new investors. Trequest a prospectus, or to establish an investment account, contact your local broker or one of our offices.


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its production and publication. These contents may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without our express written consent. 
If you use any of this stuff without asking first, we may sue your ass. We'll certainly be pissed off. 

Avarice Funds is parody, fiction, spoof. It in no way represents an actual investment company. (If you need to be told that, you really need to lock up your checkbook.) Avarice Funds does not purport to predict future events. (If we could do that, we'd be at the track instead of here.) Proper names used on this site, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional; any resemblance to
actual persons or entities is coincidental. 
Avarice Funds is not associated with any investment firm, nor would any reputable investment firm wish to be associated with Avarice Funds.
Knowing all this, if you still wish to invest with 
Avarice Funds, make your check payable to Avarice FundsCSALSMFT, and send it to our office in the Cayman Islands.