Investing with Us
At Avarice Funds, we know that financial wealth is all-important to you. It's important to accumulate, it's important to compound and it's important to display. That's why we offer a number of investment options to fit your wants, not just your needs.
Minimum investment: $50,000
Offered for entry level investors, the Avarice Funds Bronze account is the perfect way to begin building wealth and put it on display. Owners of the Avarice Funds Bronze account are able to buy or sell funds with minimum transaction fees.
Minimum investment: $100,000
Avarice Funds Silver account holders enjoy all the benefits of Bronze level investors plus limited access to Avarice Funds research materials at a nominal cost.
Minimum investment: $250,000
Investors who open Avarice Funds Gold accounts enjoy all the benefits of Silver level investing. Moreover they are eligible for discounts on many of the investment products offered by Avarice Funds as well as products and services from Avarice Funds partners. These include: Err Travel, Micro Psychology, Geezer Match, and Fat Chance Diets.
Minimum investment: $500,000
Avarice Funds Platinum account holders receive all the benefits noted above plus premium access to annual Avarice Funds Confabs (under development) as well as low-cost memberships in Exclusive Resorts, The Yellowstone Club, and Richman’s IMC. (Sorry, no link to Richman’s IMC. It’s too exclusive.)
Minimum investment: $1,000,000
The Avarice Funds Plutonium account is our most popular account. With this account, members not only receive the benefits listed above, but they are issued a Plutonium credit card making them eligible to accumulate points they can then exchange for items such as a diamond tiara or an entry level Gulfstream G100.
Minimum investment: $5,000,000
The highest level Avarice Funds account currently offered is the Kryptonite account. Membership invitations for been sent to eligible investors.
Copyright © 2014 - 2020 Avarice Funds, CSA, LSFMT. Any and all contents of Avarice Funds are copyrighted by Avarice Funds, which is solely irresponsible for its production and publication. These contents may not be reprinted or retransmitted in whole or in part without our express written consent. If you use any of this stuff without asking first, we may sue your ass. We'll certainly be pissed off.
Avarice Funds is parody, fiction, spoof. It in no way represents an actual investment company. (If you need to be told that, you really need to lock up your checkbook.) Avarice Funds does not purport to predict future events. (If we could do that, we'd be at the track instead of here.) Proper names used on this site, unless those of public figures or entities, are fictional; any resemblance to actual persons or entities is coincidental. Avarice Funds is not associated with any investment firm, nor would any reputable investment firm wish to be associated with Avarice Funds. Knowing all this, if you still wish to invest with Avarice Funds, make your check payable to Avarice Funds, CSA, LSMFT, and send it to our office in the Cayman Islands.